Every toaster has numerical settings.
What do those numbers represent?
It isn't minutes.
It isn't temperature.
It's not really anything.
A setting of 3 on my toaster won't be the same as a 3 on yours.
Those numbers are specific to your toaster. Not even your brand—your particular toaster, sitting on your counter.
I stared at mine recently and timed it, just to be sure.
A setting of 2, which produces a perfectly crisp, golden-brown piece of toast, lasts exactly 2 minutes and 11 seconds.
So the timing is irrelevant.
Those numbers represent something much more vague.
Almost ethereal.
They represent...
A level of toastiness.
I wouldn't appreciate this illusion of precision on, say, an aircraft instrument panel.
But on a toaster...
I kind of like it.
It reminds me of the quiet confidence of a zen master.
If you asked the toaster, “How do you know when it's done?”
It would shrug and say,
“I dunno. If the setting is 2, I let it get kinda brown, then I pop it out.”
You might reply,
“Okay... but what about 3?”
“I dunno. It's a little browner than 2, I guess.”
Then you'd ask,
“What about 7?”
And the toaster would probably say,
“I dunno.
Nobody has ever used 7.”